Thursday, December 1, 2011

tis the season....to be a goodfella

  the best way to spread christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear. 
~buddy the elf
i set out to do a few (quick) errands today.  i needed some charlie brown red christmas balls, among other things.  and in no time, time was not on my side.  i became henry hill without the helicopters.   and the cocaine.  

here are a few simple suggestions for the holiday season,  especially if you live in new jersey, near the mall capital of the universe.  
  • if you are driving on the highway, i.e. route 17, do not drive on the shoulder for 45 minutes.  that's just plain illegal and quite dangerous. 
  • if you are driving on the highway, try to keep your foot on the gas pedal and go faster than a dead camel in the desert.
  • when you are dancing your cart around trader joe's, refrain from sudden stops to pick your nose.
  • rethink your decision to park your kid and cart in the middle of the aisle to read the ingredients on the dog bone box when there are 45 people coming up the aisle behind you.
  • exercise is good for you.  try not to clog up the entire county by waiting 20 minutes for mrs. catatonic to get in her car with her 85 bags of stuff and no one can pass you. 
  • if you are working in a store during the holiday season, get some freakin spirit.  even in a big, busy store, not mentioning any names (bitchy and un-noble).
  • attempt to be somewhat patient, spread some cheer and share some cheers, and watch ELF.
  • and if you're lucky you will run into a long lost friend like i did today... what a gift!!
  • by golly, be jolly, take buddy's advice and sing even it's bad.
  • and, of course, get to new york city for the beauty of the season.  then go again.

rockefeller center, before the lights were lit




2 comments:

  1. once again, my deerest friend knocked it out of the park!!! You tied everything together so perfectly, with your famous sense of humor <3
    Thank you for making my day better XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete

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